I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
