OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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