Small penises have feelings too.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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