I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize