Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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