I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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