i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
