im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
