Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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