The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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