everyone is single if you try hard enough
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
