Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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