you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
