I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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