K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
