so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
