I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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