Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
