If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
