Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
