I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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