you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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