U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
