If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
When are your genitals available?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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