oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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