Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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