Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
