North Korea, Best Korea!
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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