just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
