Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Let's paint friendship bongs
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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