3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
