sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The beer is more important than you right now.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
