the new term for farting is butt boxing.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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