God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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