Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
