Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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