I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
