I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
