Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
