ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
