i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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