And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
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i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
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We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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