Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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