I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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