party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
