We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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