Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
