Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
then he tried to convert me to islam
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
