I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
