The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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