If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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