Apparently you make a good broom.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
