12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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