So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
