ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
