every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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