How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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