"it" just moved
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
