I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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