he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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