I want to stick my p in your. b.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
