Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
