That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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