every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
