He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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